Nothing Short of a Miracle!

No, I'm not talking about me finally blogging or even the price of gas being super low, although these too are miracles, but I will tell you of a couple other miracles. Many of you know that my two brothers are inactive from church...well, both of them attended church last week. When I first heard, I almost didn't believe it. I asked if there was a baby blessing or missionary homecoming or something they forgot to tell me about.

My one brother went because he was on a trip with my mom and respected her enough to find a ward for them to attend. The other one, I found out today, has been going for about a month or so due to an encouraging friend. Even when I arrived at my parents today and asked where he was, they said he was doing his hometeaching and would be back in time for dinner.

Words can't express how thankful I am!!!! I'm thankful to a loving Heavenly Father who answers prayers and sends people into our lives who can best help us; as well as, the guy who befriended my brother and helped him come back to church. It renews my hope for my other brother although it would take a lot more for him to come back to church.

The other miracle, which no one really knew about (because I failed to blog about it), is that my sister just had her fourth girl, Tessa Grace, this past Monday. Of course...this is much more a miracle than people realize because the baby almost didn't make it. Although my sister practically went full-term, the baby has always been smaller than what she should be at each of the check ups and so they were going to deliver the baby a week or two early. Even then the baby came earlier because at the last check up, two days before my sister was due, the doctors discovered that there wasn't really any amniotic fluids and they would need to deliver right away or the baby would suffocate. Needless to say the baby survived but is not out of the danger zone yet. She was born weighing a whopping 3lbs. Smallest baby I'd ever seen! These pictures may give you an idea of how small she is but still don't do any justice.

My sister gave us an update today at our family dinner. She said this past week Tessa's had some problems eating and keeping food down and lost about 40 grams. She's been moved to another hospital where she can receive more one on one care. After running some tests they realized that the problem was that she'd been fed too much. too fast which caused some intestinal problems. The nurses were only giving her about a teaspoon and a half (which really isn't much of anything) but it's just that her stomach is so small. Poor girl had to have her stomach pumped to relieve some of the problems. She's been doing a little better since then and has gained 12 grams making her way back up to 3lbs. I guess that's why I consider her a miracle because even with everything she's been through, she's still here with us!

Dream Come True

I know this is long overdue! I've been working on a slideshow of all the Alaskan Cruise pictures but seeing as there were 6 cameras....needless to say, there's a lot of pictures to sort through and put together. Instead of keeping you waiting forever, and losing all my fans (the few that there are), I decided to give you a preview. There are some seriously gorgeous pictures of Alaska!!!! Those who have been there know what I'm talking about and those who haven't I wish you could've been there! It was a dream come true!!! Who wouldn't love to have a week with some of their closest friends doing a bunch of once in a lifetime activities in places so beautiful that it takes your breath away?!! They're not in any real order but enjoy the pictures.

Mendenhall Glacier

Boarding the Star Princess

Kandis in Skagway

Ketchikan if you didn't already know

Butchart Gardens


Seattle Temple


Ketchikan kayaking


Tree hugger

Soon to be water slide at Tracy Arm J/K

Tracy Arm


Sunset at Victoria, B.C.


An out of boat experience...actually there was another that looked just like ours.

Made our way to the top on a bus tour in Skagway.

Juneau whale watching with the best looking guide around!

Birthday Girl


Fountain at Butchart Gardens

Butchart Gardens

Touring ol' Seattle the underground city.

Making myself at home.

Seattle Space Needle


Totem Pole wanna be's


Sea Lions fighting over the bell buoy.

Annalyse at a waterfall in Skagway.

Butchart Gardens

It's always nice to know you're in good hands!

We had all the men wanting to take our picture.

Pure stupidity...yet pure entertainment!

Mendenhall Glacier seen from Tracy Arm

Humpback Whale


Hiking in Skagway

Hiking Hotties!

What a view!

America's Top Models


Wonderland...look for Alice

Roses amongst the flowers.

Donut Falls

Although I know you're just dying to hear about my cruise and and the events that took place, I still have a little more work of putting together the pics before I spill the beans about how cool it was. I thought you might at least like some of these pics in the mean time. And if you think these pics are georgeous...just you wait!

Gettin' A Grip

So....I'm sorry you had the same annoying music and blog for about a month now! Also, I know how much you love my poems and you might have been looking forward to the one about my brother but...I decided not to post that one. I want to keep my angelic image.

Since the last time I updated I've had a lot of new things. I feel like I'm getting a grip on things...new phone, new haircut, new position w/my very own desk. Yeah, yeah!!!

As for the guys however...I've had a few crushes lately and I've messed up some golden opportunities to do something with them and really make some moves if you know what I mean ;o) ...I think I'm a lost cause!!! I'm probably doomed to be an old maid!

Ok, so that's not true, and one of the guys did say I'd make a good wife, but this is definitely a weak part of my life that I wish I could get more of a grip on! It makes me think of Lindsey's blog where she says...

We are the Gopher Girls
we always Gopher guys
who never Gopher us
but we always Gopher them

It would be nice to meet a Gopher Guy who will Gopher Girls who Gopher them. Maybe I just need a change of mentality but I feel like I've been part of the love triangle. I'm usually the one who's in love with someone who's chasing after someone else.

Maybe I just need a vacation. They say "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". We'll see if any of the guys miss me. I also heard from a friend about a book called "The Surrendered Single"...I just might have to squeeze in some reading while I'm gone. I'll let you know if any of it works.

Miserable Mis-haps

So.....I'm sorry for the pain I've been. I'm not much fun when I'm in bad moods and lately I feel like I've been in the worst of moods for the past couple weeks. I was like a loaded cannon ready to explode. Actually...I did explode in a couple of people's faces this weekend and then unloaded persay to my BFF.
It was definitely one of the worst couple of weeks in a while. Things have been stressful at work, lots of events to plan for, new co-worker, depriving myself of sleep, some of my favorite dancers on "So You Think You Can Dance" got kicked off, and yet the most miserable was all the events that happened last Saturday night.

Many of you know I've been trying to sell my Pontiac for quite some time. I've put it on KSL a couple times, told friends and family, called around to a few places for quotes and after getting a couple tickets and an impound notice.....well....I really just want to get rid of it and be done.
So, after a long day at work, I met up with my dad at a 7-11. I filled the tires with air, gas tank is already full from the last time I cleaned it out real good, and I had my dad follow me to Low Book Sales because I felt it was my last hope. The car drove well but I have to be careful because it needs new brake pads and some axle work.
When we got there it was 9:40pm and they close @ 10pm. The dealer took my info and then quick look at the car. He offered $450 for it and, although I almost got $1300 for it a couple months ago, at this point that sounded good and I could be done with it. Of course, after I said yes, he further explained that he's not a licensed appraiser and it's not actually the dealership that buys the car, it's a national auto auction company and the offer is good for up to 7 days. So then he proceeded to explain that I could try to sale the car within the 7 days and if I don't then I can bring it back and sale it to them for the $450.
I told him that I felt that I had already exhausted all my resources and that's why I was coming to them and I just wanted to be done with it. Then it practically became 2 on 1 because my dad and the dealer were practically telling me that I should try to sale it in that time seeing as I almost got triple what they could offer. I then told them that I work dawn till dusk, I'm running a race, and going out of town There's no way I'm going to have time to sell the car or even have people look at it this week. Then the dealer suggests taking it to my dad's house or even signing over the title to him. His co-worker pulls him aside for a little bit at this point and my dad says it might be a good idea to take the 7 days to sell the car because the offer is still good. I told him I'd had several experiences before where I thought if I tried a little bit harder and gave things a little more time that I could make it worth it but it never works that way and I was tired of false hopes!
The dealer then came back and explained that he had quoted us the wrong amount and that he could only sell it for $200. As Corey would say...I got punk'd!!! I felt like he was never straight with us, like he didn't take my decision seriously, and maybe even that he just didn't want to deal with it that late at night. So I said no to the $200 offer because I know other companies that would do a little more. Now I just had to decide whether to take it back to my house or my dad's.

I've been tired of getting tickets and seeing it everyday as a reminder I still haven't sold it so I decided I'd take it to my dad's. I asked my dad which back roads he thought I should take. He told me to take the freeway and though I didn't like it at first, I gave in. BIG MISTAKE!!!! It was a pretty enjoyable ride until we were coming up on the 90th off ramp and there's a line of cars. So I slow down and a little truck got between my dad and I. As I was nearing the line of cars and slowing I could tell that my car was about to die. Worst feeling in the world!
Just as I stopped near the line of cars, my car did die. I tried more than a couple times to get my car going again but, everytime I put it in gear, it died. My hazards weren't even working. The poor guy behind me didn't realize anything was wrong until I was pushing my car off to the side out of traffic's way. He went around me and my dad put on his hazards.
As I pushed the car, it suddenly felt a lot lighter than it should and it was picking up speed and I worried that it was getting out of my control (which I've had some freaky dreams about) so I almost hurt myself getting in and steer things more to the right as I push on the brake. I then realize my dad was pushing the car. So now that it's out of the way and at a complete stop. I got out and immediately starting yelling at him. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE PUSHIN' THE CAR? I HAD NO IDEA! I ALMOST HURT MYSELF TRYING TO GET IN BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS LOSING CONTROL! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TOLD ME TO TAKE THE FREEWAY! I SHOULD'VE NEVER TAKEN THE FREEWAY! ONLY THE BACK ROADS!"
It wasn't long before I was apologizing to him and explaining that it had just been a long day and I was stressed. Looking back, I could've hurt my dad pretty bad with putting on the brakes too quickly and not knowing he was there.
He moved his Suburban and we noticed that some of the people behind him were not too bright. They weren't watching the fact that there's a line of cars (not to mention the hazard lights my dad had on) and they got in an accident. Nobody was hurt, as far as I know, but after a while I knew they were stickin' around for the cops to come resolve the accident and I didn't want to be around seein' as I was the cause of the accident and I'd had a ticket and impound notice for not having current registration.
I tried to see if my car would go this time but no luck. I tried calling my sister since we have a tow service but she wasn't answering so...then as my dad is talking to my mom they end up arguing a bit but end up calling triple AAA to come have my car towed.
While waiting for the tow truck, my brother Nate drove my mom over to us with the triple AAA card and my dad and I continued to push my car down the ramp to avoid being part of the accident.
We got to a certain point where I pushed it on my own while my dad went back to the Suburban to move it closer to my car. I even got to the slight downward incline to the point I didn't have to push. Of course, dumb me, thought I could try starting the car and, with the momentum, be able to get it going, but as soon as I tried putting it in gear, it jolted to a complete stop. I then had to push again and this time as it picked up speed the brake wouldn't work. I couldn't find the parking brake and so I just tried to press extra hard on the brake. Finally, I got it to stop and told my dad that we were not movin' it any further because I felt it was too dangerous.

Nate and my mom showed up soon after that. After talking a little bit, Nate asked why I hadn't just taken the $200, he had made a few other remarks and laughed making it seem ridiculous that I hadn't just accepted the offer. He then asked how much I was expecting to sell my car for.
I responded that I didn't want to talk about it since it had been a long day and he had already laughed in my face about the other stuff, which in turn made him upset. Just because I didn't feel like talking to him after he'd just been laughing at me, he then lashed out at me. He blamed me for putting my mom in a bad mood and said we wouldn't be in this mess if I hadn't been irresponsible and sold the car months ago or even just taken back roads instead of the freeway.

I was already feeling extremely guilty for all of those things but when he lashed out at me like that, everything went to the side except for how mad I became with him. I didn't fight back much. I wanted to, but nothing gets through to my brother. Plus, my mom and dad stepped in at that point. All I could do was look like I didn't care and try not to think about it to keep from letting the tears flood out of my eyes. I just wanted to go home!
My brother left. Thank heavens!!! I vented to my mom about how he's always had this opinion of me being lazy and irresponsible and it's never going to change. I continued to tell her how judgemental he is and how he thinks he has the right to be mad just because things don't go his way.
When we got back to my parents I didn't even want to go inside because I knew he was there. I had to eventually to put the car keys away and I walked in on a little of Nate venting to my mom about me. Ugggh! I left the house and my dad drove me home. I didn't get home till around 12:30ish. Of all the things I could be doing on a Sat night, I end up being talked out of a deal by a dealership, breaking down on the freeway, causing an accident, yelling at my dad, putting people in bad moods, pushing my car down a freeway ramp with hundreds of passersby watching, and becoming extremely upset with my brother.
The next day, I was so upset with my brother that I didn't feel like going to church. Even once I was there I became a little more upset. In one of the Sunday school classes they asked if we'd ever been told by somebody that we're brainwashed. Yep, my very own brother. Most of Sunday I spent writing a poem to get out my frustration which will have to be in another blog entry. Sorry.
It's not just the way he treated me on Sat night but it's how if I seems to make a mistake then he dumps everything he possibly can on me instead of trying to understand what I've just been through. I know we're supposed to forgive people even if it's for the same thing but......I feel like this happens all the time. He starts treatin' me like his buddy and wanting to do things and becoming more family oriented but then when something goes wrong it goes downhill from there. What makes it worse is when he apologizes it's not really an apology. He always starts off with "Well...I'm sorry but...." But nothing!!!! If you were sorry then you wouldn't be trying to wrap it around an excuse. It makes it harder to forgive him and makes me feel like I want to disown him and never see him again.
This may sound silly but.....I told Heavenly Father I'd forgive him but I still get to post the poem about him to my blog once it's finished. I have some very happy things happen Mon night that turned things around for me but that to will have to wait. Till next time...hope you're each having a good week.

2 Weeks Worth of Accomplishments....

I ran, I read, I made my bed,

Washed clothes, washed dishes, set goals, made wishes,

Budget, paid bills, ate healthy meals,

Changed oil, planned trip, fixed a rock chip,

Prepared training, survived work, apologized for being a jerk,

Cleaned house, pulled weeds, did some good deeds,

Friendship bread, airport ride, wedding reception for the bride,

Washed cars, paid fines, built bonfire in the pines,

Took pictures, striked poses, admired my neighbor's roses,

Watered lawn, emptied trash, enjoyed my candy stash,

Relaxed, watched tv, took some time for me,

Visited family, visited friends, the list just never ends,

Day in, day out, this is what life's all about!

Holy Fireworks Batman!!!

This is why they call me a pyro!!!!!

This Indepence Day was obviously a BLAST!...... but for more reasons that just shooting off fireworks. The night before, my family and I celebrated my brother's belated birthday (since we all went to Bear Lake while he had to stay home and work on his birthday weekend). We celebrated by going to the Redwood Road Drive-In Theatre where we saw WALLE and Prince Caspian. Both were really good in my opinion.

The next morning, we had a family breakfast with my parents ward. It's always good to see old friends and there were definitely some unforgettable moments. One was my bro-in-law putting away his grill that he let my dad borrow. He was on his way to the car to put it away when my sister went to kiss him and he said,"Why ya'll gettin' up in my grill?!" That was hilarious! And the other one was when I was finishing up my breakfast and sitting next to my dad when my mom came over. She briefly talked with him and gave him a quick peck on the lips before turning to leave. Of course, she didn't get very far before he stuck his hand in the back of her jean pocket and pulled her back for a real kiss! I almost choked on my breakfast because I was laughing so hard yet then managed to say,"Wow! It's only the morning of July 4th and you're already setting off sparks!" Then my sister came over to the table and I asked her,"Did you see those fireworks?"

After the breakfast, some went shopping for fireworks while some of us stayed home playing the Wii which became very addicting. It was like Christmas when they came home with that many fireworks! Later that night we enjoyed a lovely meal provided by the Colonel (KFC) and then went to Coldstone. While eating our ice cream, we were very much entertained by the girls. Eliza kept wiping Brooklyn's mouth even though her mouth was extremely messy and it gets better...she ran out of napkins and goes over to the counter where the workers are and says,"I need more napkins for the little girl." Kids say the darnest things! It was seriously a funny sight to see!!! We then went home and lit all the fireworks and had tons of fun! I wish everyday were Indepence Day....I'd always have the day off, I could light fireworks anytime I wanted and as many as I wanted. Luckily for me, being a pyro and all, July 24th is coming up and is another chance to do more fireworks!!!

No Worries

I'm sure I had a few of you worried since it's been too long since I've last updated my blog. But no worries, I'm not dead, no injuries, and no...I have not been in a coma. I've merely just been lounging about the house sick or been on family outings. As much as I would love to fill you in on everything...I can't right now. I've been catching up on a few things and now I need to catch up on my sleep so....till next time.....I hope you're all doing well.

3rd Annual Triathlon

For the past 3 years, my friends do a triathlon.
Each year strengthening their brain and brawn.
A few weeks ago, I began to train
With nothing to lose and everything to gain.
While Shan and I went to the Aquatic Center to swim,
JaNae and Wendy devoutly exercised at the gym.
They put together these really sweet Adidas bags.
Holding a shirt, power bar, gel and our very own tags.
Oh, and let’s not forget the Gatorade.
Now if I just had a box of first aid.
Oh well…most of it’s mental and takes a strong mind.
The hardest part is when I fall behind.
My friends are faster than me, no matter how I try,
Even when I get a head start, they still pass me by.
This year will require a lot more hustle
And hopefully I’ll avoid pulling a muscle.
I’m excited for running since it’s mostly downhill
And running with friends is always a thrill.
But before too long, they’ll get ahead
Leaving only footprints for me to tread.
At least it’s comforting listening to my MP3’s
With an occasional feel of a nice light breeze.
With biking on the second round,
Maybe I can make up some ground.
They say 2 heads are better than 1,
So 3 wheels instead of 2 would help a ton!
And though I wish I had a shiny red Tryke,
Guess I’ll have to do with my rundown green bike.
Because it’s too late to change, I have to settle.
So I’ll stop whining and put my foot to the pedal.
When I reach the pool for round three,
I’m sure all eyes will be on me!
Wearing a leopard-print swimming suit
Most people think is really cute.
Hopefully they see me go the extra length
Surviving off the rest of my strength.
I may look weird with my goggles and nose plug.
But once I get going, I become a water bug.
My only hope is that my strength doesn’t diminish
So I can keep going and hold out till the finish.
My prediction is that my friends will finish pretty fast,
While I take my sweet time and come in last.
But even if it takes a wing and a prayer,
I’d rather be the tortoise than the hare.
I know I can do it and I know I don’t suck,
But do me a favor and wish me good luck!

Life has it's Ups and Downs!

Fortunately....throughout my life, I've had more ups than downs but when I have downs they tend to be extreme. Lately I've been going through that quite a bit and wanting pity parties and attention. I've been working on pulling myself together but yesterday was really hard for me! I was a wreck in the morning, got better in the afternoon and then didn't end so well at night. Kandis and I were watching a show (which reminded me of Cloverfield) where a majority of people die! I couldn't help but be reminded of my morning and that's why it didn't end well.

Of course, now you're probably wondering what happened. Well,...one of my regular members, who I've been helping him and his wife for a few years now, came Sat. morning to do his transaction. I asked him a couple weeks ago how his wife was doing, since I noticed that she hadn't been coming for quite some time. He replied that she'd been ill for quite some time and was in the hospital. She'd been fighting cancer. The doctor said that it was only a matter of time and that she should go home and get her affairs in order. I let him know that she would be in my prayers and thought to myself that I should go see her on my next day off.

After he finished his transaction with my coworker, I asked him once again how his wife was doing and wondered if there had been any progress over the last couple of weeks. He turned toward me and, almost choking on the words, answered,"She died yesterday!" There was a brief moment of silence. After the initial shock of the news, I let him know that I was sorry to hear that. Both of us were now holding back tears and both agreed that now she was in a better place and not having to deal with the pain.

After he left, I went straight to the back room in our office for a moment to regroup. I tried holding back tears but they continued to stream down my face (Of all days to be wearing mascara it had to be today!) and my breathing was heavy from holding it all in. I started to calm myself down and went to the bathroom. My eyes were bloodshot and stained with mascara. I got cleaned up, felt much better and headed back in hopes that I'd be fine the rest of the day.

I went in my supervisor's office with intentions to let him know I'd be in the backroom for a while (just till the red eye wore off) but as soon as I starting explaining I just broke down to the point where my words at the end were more like a scream because they were so high-pitched because of crying. What began as a stream of tears soon became a waterfall! He told me to sit down and take a moment as he shut the door to the office. It felt like the worst ache coming from deep down inside me and made me bawl! My heart just goes out to this man and his family because his wife was one of the sweetest ladies you'd ever known. She was always so appreciative and supportive of others.

Needless to say...my coworkers were extra nice to me and looking for opportunities to make me laugh and get my mind off things. We ended up having quite a few laughs and even played some glow-in-the-dark basketball in between helping the members that came to our branch. Work ended well but after watching that show and seeing all the people dying made me want to cry even more.

Part of it is just that I'm afraid of losing the ones I love. Another part of it is that I don't do enough to show them how much I care. As soon as I heard that woman passed away, I felt terrible that I didn't take the time to go to the hospital and let her know how much I enjoyed seeing her and getting to know her as I did her transactions each time. It got me thinking that I need to tell people more often in words and actions that I love them and appreciate them.

Especially since I've been lucky enough to have some of the best people in my life right now. Kandis' mom has taken me in as one of her own; as well as, the rest of the Bryant family and allow me to enjoy fabulous family meals with them and be surrounded by good company. Deneigh always shows up in the times that I need her most so we can have our heart to heart talks.

JaNae's always been lookin' out for me when I felt like I didn't belong and believes in me even when I don't, which helps me to push myself. She always invites me to play sports, go to the gym, or go running. It's because of her I was able to run the DesNews 10k that I've always wanted to.

Wendy always brings out the best in people and makes for a great sidekick. It brought tears to my eyes the other day when we ran in the rain because it brought back a sweet memory. I was struggling toward the end of our run, and although she'd already finished, she ran back to me to help me run the rest which was very similar to when we ran the Bryce Half Marathon.

Kandis practically took me under her wing. She was my visiting teacher and really helped me in so many ways. She's always been someone I can talk to and I get excited to share news with her especially if it's about a date with a guy I like. She's so talented, hardworking and extremely funny that I can't help but want to be around her all the time! Hopes and dreams are her specialty. If she's not asking people what their hopes and dreams are then she's making them come true!

Hopefully, now that I've shared about each of these closest friends of mine, you'll be able to see why they mean so much to me! (And that's just one paragraph about them...just wait till I write the complete novel..."Friends Without Ends" ) He!He! If anyone asked me if I'd ever had a dream come true...I'd say,"Yeah,...I got the friends I've always dreamed of having!!! And they continue to make my dreams come true!!!" You can't ask for anything more!