Miserable Mis-haps

So.....I'm sorry for the pain I've been. I'm not much fun when I'm in bad moods and lately I feel like I've been in the worst of moods for the past couple weeks. I was like a loaded cannon ready to explode. Actually...I did explode in a couple of people's faces this weekend and then unloaded persay to my BFF.
It was definitely one of the worst couple of weeks in a while. Things have been stressful at work, lots of events to plan for, new co-worker, depriving myself of sleep, some of my favorite dancers on "So You Think You Can Dance" got kicked off, and yet the most miserable was all the events that happened last Saturday night.

Many of you know I've been trying to sell my Pontiac for quite some time. I've put it on KSL a couple times, told friends and family, called around to a few places for quotes and after getting a couple tickets and an impound notice.....well....I really just want to get rid of it and be done.
So, after a long day at work, I met up with my dad at a 7-11. I filled the tires with air, gas tank is already full from the last time I cleaned it out real good, and I had my dad follow me to Low Book Sales because I felt it was my last hope. The car drove well but I have to be careful because it needs new brake pads and some axle work.
When we got there it was 9:40pm and they close @ 10pm. The dealer took my info and then quick look at the car. He offered $450 for it and, although I almost got $1300 for it a couple months ago, at this point that sounded good and I could be done with it. Of course, after I said yes, he further explained that he's not a licensed appraiser and it's not actually the dealership that buys the car, it's a national auto auction company and the offer is good for up to 7 days. So then he proceeded to explain that I could try to sale the car within the 7 days and if I don't then I can bring it back and sale it to them for the $450.
I told him that I felt that I had already exhausted all my resources and that's why I was coming to them and I just wanted to be done with it. Then it practically became 2 on 1 because my dad and the dealer were practically telling me that I should try to sale it in that time seeing as I almost got triple what they could offer. I then told them that I work dawn till dusk, I'm running a race, and going out of town There's no way I'm going to have time to sell the car or even have people look at it this week. Then the dealer suggests taking it to my dad's house or even signing over the title to him. His co-worker pulls him aside for a little bit at this point and my dad says it might be a good idea to take the 7 days to sell the car because the offer is still good. I told him I'd had several experiences before where I thought if I tried a little bit harder and gave things a little more time that I could make it worth it but it never works that way and I was tired of false hopes!
The dealer then came back and explained that he had quoted us the wrong amount and that he could only sell it for $200. As Corey would say...I got punk'd!!! I felt like he was never straight with us, like he didn't take my decision seriously, and maybe even that he just didn't want to deal with it that late at night. So I said no to the $200 offer because I know other companies that would do a little more. Now I just had to decide whether to take it back to my house or my dad's.

I've been tired of getting tickets and seeing it everyday as a reminder I still haven't sold it so I decided I'd take it to my dad's. I asked my dad which back roads he thought I should take. He told me to take the freeway and though I didn't like it at first, I gave in. BIG MISTAKE!!!! It was a pretty enjoyable ride until we were coming up on the 90th off ramp and there's a line of cars. So I slow down and a little truck got between my dad and I. As I was nearing the line of cars and slowing I could tell that my car was about to die. Worst feeling in the world!
Just as I stopped near the line of cars, my car did die. I tried more than a couple times to get my car going again but, everytime I put it in gear, it died. My hazards weren't even working. The poor guy behind me didn't realize anything was wrong until I was pushing my car off to the side out of traffic's way. He went around me and my dad put on his hazards.
As I pushed the car, it suddenly felt a lot lighter than it should and it was picking up speed and I worried that it was getting out of my control (which I've had some freaky dreams about) so I almost hurt myself getting in and steer things more to the right as I push on the brake. I then realize my dad was pushing the car. So now that it's out of the way and at a complete stop. I got out and immediately starting yelling at him. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE PUSHIN' THE CAR? I HAD NO IDEA! I ALMOST HURT MYSELF TRYING TO GET IN BECAUSE I THOUGHT I WAS LOSING CONTROL! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TOLD ME TO TAKE THE FREEWAY! I SHOULD'VE NEVER TAKEN THE FREEWAY! ONLY THE BACK ROADS!"
It wasn't long before I was apologizing to him and explaining that it had just been a long day and I was stressed. Looking back, I could've hurt my dad pretty bad with putting on the brakes too quickly and not knowing he was there.
He moved his Suburban and we noticed that some of the people behind him were not too bright. They weren't watching the fact that there's a line of cars (not to mention the hazard lights my dad had on) and they got in an accident. Nobody was hurt, as far as I know, but after a while I knew they were stickin' around for the cops to come resolve the accident and I didn't want to be around seein' as I was the cause of the accident and I'd had a ticket and impound notice for not having current registration.
I tried to see if my car would go this time but no luck. I tried calling my sister since we have a tow service but she wasn't answering so...then as my dad is talking to my mom they end up arguing a bit but end up calling triple AAA to come have my car towed.
While waiting for the tow truck, my brother Nate drove my mom over to us with the triple AAA card and my dad and I continued to push my car down the ramp to avoid being part of the accident.
We got to a certain point where I pushed it on my own while my dad went back to the Suburban to move it closer to my car. I even got to the slight downward incline to the point I didn't have to push. Of course, dumb me, thought I could try starting the car and, with the momentum, be able to get it going, but as soon as I tried putting it in gear, it jolted to a complete stop. I then had to push again and this time as it picked up speed the brake wouldn't work. I couldn't find the parking brake and so I just tried to press extra hard on the brake. Finally, I got it to stop and told my dad that we were not movin' it any further because I felt it was too dangerous.

Nate and my mom showed up soon after that. After talking a little bit, Nate asked why I hadn't just taken the $200, he had made a few other remarks and laughed making it seem ridiculous that I hadn't just accepted the offer. He then asked how much I was expecting to sell my car for.
I responded that I didn't want to talk about it since it had been a long day and he had already laughed in my face about the other stuff, which in turn made him upset. Just because I didn't feel like talking to him after he'd just been laughing at me, he then lashed out at me. He blamed me for putting my mom in a bad mood and said we wouldn't be in this mess if I hadn't been irresponsible and sold the car months ago or even just taken back roads instead of the freeway.

I was already feeling extremely guilty for all of those things but when he lashed out at me like that, everything went to the side except for how mad I became with him. I didn't fight back much. I wanted to, but nothing gets through to my brother. Plus, my mom and dad stepped in at that point. All I could do was look like I didn't care and try not to think about it to keep from letting the tears flood out of my eyes. I just wanted to go home!
My brother left. Thank heavens!!! I vented to my mom about how he's always had this opinion of me being lazy and irresponsible and it's never going to change. I continued to tell her how judgemental he is and how he thinks he has the right to be mad just because things don't go his way.
When we got back to my parents I didn't even want to go inside because I knew he was there. I had to eventually to put the car keys away and I walked in on a little of Nate venting to my mom about me. Ugggh! I left the house and my dad drove me home. I didn't get home till around 12:30ish. Of all the things I could be doing on a Sat night, I end up being talked out of a deal by a dealership, breaking down on the freeway, causing an accident, yelling at my dad, putting people in bad moods, pushing my car down a freeway ramp with hundreds of passersby watching, and becoming extremely upset with my brother.
The next day, I was so upset with my brother that I didn't feel like going to church. Even once I was there I became a little more upset. In one of the Sunday school classes they asked if we'd ever been told by somebody that we're brainwashed. Yep, my very own brother. Most of Sunday I spent writing a poem to get out my frustration which will have to be in another blog entry. Sorry.
It's not just the way he treated me on Sat night but it's how if I seems to make a mistake then he dumps everything he possibly can on me instead of trying to understand what I've just been through. I know we're supposed to forgive people even if it's for the same thing but......I feel like this happens all the time. He starts treatin' me like his buddy and wanting to do things and becoming more family oriented but then when something goes wrong it goes downhill from there. What makes it worse is when he apologizes it's not really an apology. He always starts off with "Well...I'm sorry but...." But nothing!!!! If you were sorry then you wouldn't be trying to wrap it around an excuse. It makes it harder to forgive him and makes me feel like I want to disown him and never see him again.
This may sound silly but.....I told Heavenly Father I'd forgive him but I still get to post the poem about him to my blog once it's finished. I have some very happy things happen Mon night that turned things around for me but that to will have to wait. Till next time...hope you're each having a good week.